In Search of the Elusive Kiwi

I've been in New Zealand for over two months now and have learned a thing or two about the elusive Kiwi. But, like any subject of deep complexity, the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know. Natives display a great ability to poke fun at themselves, and who wouldn't when most of the national heroes (rugby players to a man) have mullets (moo-lays), wear shorty shorts and pass the ball backwards when on a forward drive. Of course, as with any culture, there are geographical pockets and trends. Wellington is a great place to have an almost world class meal, followed by a foreign film or a screening of the latest Oscar-nominated Kiwi short. Here there are warehouse dwelling bohemians who eat organic and shop at opp shops alongside suited slicksters shopping on Lambton Quay and drinking Belgian beer in polished cement floor lounges.

But contrast that with, for example, Cromwell - the center of Central Otago's winemaking district. Cromwell, or Crom-Vegas as it is afffectionately known, is a friendly working class family community with a pub and a supermarket and once-a-year races at the track. Seems that muscle cars are the hot topic here. I was asked often about GTO's and Camaros and was met with dubious wide eyes when I admitted I drove a VDub. Holden, a GM product, is the machine of choice. Their older models have the look of mid-80's Mustangs, complete with plastic spoilers and splashy side paint. The current drooler as far as I can tell is the four-door extended cab Holden ute - basically a shiny new El Camino or Ranchero - complete with a big and bright roll bar just for good measure. They come in midnight blue, blood red or lime green.
The Australian Ones Come In Killer Orange

Food is another gateway into a culture, where similarities and differences come to light. Much of the New Zealand Pakeha (white man) traditional food derives from the famed British cuisine. Boiled veggies and boiled meat figure prominently, with fries and a minimum of fresh greens. Big breakfasts and sauce hollandaise are popular, though I've yet to sample the bubble and squeak. Custards and creamed rice are popular for afters, and dates show up in scones and fruit cakes. Some delicacies include paua (abalone) , crayfish ( a dark lobster) and white bait. Bluff oysters, from Bluff of course, are supposed to be tasty but I've yet to try one. One other such national delicacy is the mutton bird. Seems there's a protected bird, the sooty sheerwater, which only the Maori are allowed to hunt. They are caught as fledglings out of their nests and brined for later consumption. To cook them, you have to boil them thrice to leech out the salt, then throw them on the barby. Basically grilled seagull unless you're a fan. We've dubbed them The Flightless Anchovy of the Air. The Maori hunters of yore were also known to use a dead lit bird as a torch on dark nights. Now that's an oily treat. We'll have it for dinner, except that they call dinner "tea" here! Oh, these crazy Kiwis. [Incidentally, there is a famous NZ folk-rock group named The Mutton Birds, they're actually quite good]

One other critter to look out for in EnZed is the sandfly. You'll know when you meet one by the mark they leave. These little nippers, about the size of a gnat, feed on ankles and hands, leaving behind a welt that can last for weeks. They are mostly found on the West Coast but I've felt their loving touch in northern vineyards and the East Coast as well. Sir Ian McKellan, an unofficial expert on the bug, claims that he doesn't recall being bitten once while filming the Ring Trilogy, although he did incur a few nips when out of costume. Even wizards need bug repellant now and again I suppose.